This is the eighth post of a three-week series. Please visit the “Adventure Journal” page of our website and start with “Why Nepal?” to read in order! As always, I have added perspectives from the kids (as they allow me to).

Cover Photo: A candid capture from a distance of me reading my book by a glacial river.

*Please note that to see Cover Photo on email notification, you will need to click “Read On” at the bottom of the email.

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Day 7: Chhekam (Chhokang Paro) (3,000m) - Chhule (Tsum Valley) (3,300m)

June 4, 2019

Stats:

Walked: 4hrs 7mins
Distance: 7.5 miles
Ascent: 748 ft
Descent: 165 ft
Elevation Gain: 583 ft

Today was the most beautiful walk we’ve had to date. We are in a very remote valley between the large Himals of Ganesh, Buddha, and Shringi, bordering Tibet. There are waterfalls, green pine trees, manicured villages with wheat fields, stone walls, chortens, and monasteries. Though the walk was relatively short and flat (only a 300m climb), our legs were tired from the days before.

I spent some 1:1 time walking with each kid planning their birthdays (all of them are in Oct/Nov), listening to their goals for the year, documenting their wishlists, and brainstorming about the activities they were interested in doing when they got home. Thanks to iPhone Notes, it was actually very productive, and I could tell they were excited to talk about going home.

Collectively, the five of us also talked about another 10-year+ travel dream! We all put out to the Universe that we would like to do one more travel year in 2030. We projected where we would all be around then: Zayan would have graduated from college (assuming he does a 4-5 year plan) and could take a gap year before going to graduate school (to either be a marine biologist or environmental lawyer, according to him); Kenza would be in her third year of college, so we decided that either she could take a gap year or she could study for a semester abroad and we could go visit her and then she could join us on her breaks; and Kaysee would have graduated high school and could take a gap year! Who knows where truly everyone’s hearts and minds will be then…and “committing/planning around” a goal like this is hard enough with two people in the mix versus five people, but it made me happy that everyone was into the idea for now! Regardless of whether or not we can do something like this again, I know that travel will be a big part of all of their adulthoods. They already talk about their future travels so casually, that it is hard to imagine that they will ever cure their “travel bugs.”

One of the highlights on today’s path was an ordinary looking “gate” building (Tibetan stupa) guarding the next village. As I approached the stupa, Zayan excitedly summoned me through. He told me to look up and there it was—the most colorful Tibetan religious art.

The kids excitedly showing me their discovery :)

Mingmar Sherpa explaining some of the imagery to Z and Kaysee.

Before we left for our trek, we visited a Buddhist Thanka school where students were learning the meditative practice of drawing mandalas and stories of the Buddha. We spent time learning about the different phases of samsara (cycles of lives) before breaking free from it and reaching nirvana (ultimate enlightenment). In Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism, much of the story is depicted through characters that often look like they came from Hindu mythology. At the time of his enlightenment, Buddha was speaking to an audience who was familiar with Hinduism and one that was largely illiterate (or at least not literate in a common language). Thus, much of early Buddhism is explained through intricate art-stories.

A close up of the art on the upper walls and ceiling of the stupa.

After we passed the stupa, we noticed a very serene village before we understood that nobody was there! Around that area, villages that usually hold 2-3,000 people, currently look like ghost towns because all of the locals have left, to spend several months in the mountains looking for special insect/plant medicine that they will sell to the Chinese (more on this tomorrow). We saw only a handful of people, some elderly and some younger children, but they were all extremely warm and kind to us.

When we got to our campsite, the sun was shining strongly. Given that we still had plenty of sunlight left, I did some laundry (socks and underwear for the boys) in a traditional way—water in a big basin with a bar of laundry soap and a lot of scrubbing and wringing)—and set them out to dry on our tent line. The kids were lounging in their respective tents (reading/napping), Kapil was drying other damp items (sleeping bags, clothes, etc.), and I took my book (We Need to Talk About Putin: How the West Gets Him Wrong by Mark Galeotti) and read on a rock along the glacial river—occasionally dipping my sore feet into the icy water. As an aside, we have learned that “icing” our feet in glacial water after a long hike, greatly eliminates soreness the next day.

Kapil’s great shot of our camp (yellow tents and brown poop tent) just above the river).

On the trek today, my personal reflections were all about noticing the peace of being fully “disconnected” from my phone. My usual “presence” is in short increments—an hour or two here or there—and then a few minutes back on for an email, a quick search, communication with friends/family, or a review of social media messages. Most of the time, when I jump back to the phone, it is for a productive reason, and I can disconnect again quickly…but it is not true disconnection. At the back of my mind, I know I can always jump back on if I need to. More than that, I subconsciously don’t feel any extra open space.

In the seven short days of being disconnected, I have felt the extra time noticed that the space unlocks my creativity. Without Google, I can’t be 100% productive, so I may jot a few notes on what I need to search later, but I generally unplug that side of me and start wandering in my mind. Being able to write without access to internet means my thoughts are uninterrupted (except by notations here and there to make additions later) and I come up with more playful ideas.

Given this profound realization, I created a new idea for myself when I get back home—Disconnected Saturdays. I announced it to my family (to keep me accountable) and I am now memorializing it here. As challenging as it may be, I would like to turn my phone off on Saturdays and see what opens up for me. As soon as I made this announcement, a million questions were thrown at me—What if we need to call you? What if we need you to call our friend’s mom? What if we need you to order a pizza? What if you need to take pictures of our activities? Wait—this is just your thing, right? Blah. My answer was that we would all learn to be resourceful (e.g. they could make their own calls or ask Daddy for help, I could use my actual Canon camera, etc.). I don’t necessarily want to be a recluse on Saturdays (though the introvert in me likes that too), but I want to be wholly wherever I am…without any subconscious excuses.

What is perhaps more interesting, is that in raising this idea to the kids, they projected how “boring” being disconnected is for them (though, honestly, it doesn’t seem that way). This ideology caught fire and spread with strength over the next thirty minutes of conversation; and it morphed into “camping/trekking being hard” and liking easier travel. It took everything in me to not try to convert them or have them find their gratitude for this experience, because I know they are trying out their own reactions to this adventure. I just shared that Kapil and I brought them to Nepal because it was so special to us and that they will have to make their own decisions about their impressions…”and Daddy and I will do our best not to be heartbroken.” There I did it. I was so close to getting it right…and in the end, I guilted them. Well-done, Aila.

The truth is, I get it. Camping and trekking were never my forte. I didn’t do these activities growing up and even as an adult, I don’t tend to refuel on extending myself outside of my physical comfort zones. That said, the opportunity to commune with nature and disconnect from the stimulus of the world, coupled with the experience of walking for miles and miles in silence, reflecting on wherever my mind takes me, feed the introvert aspects of me. I feel whole in the moment and accomplished at the end.

All guilt-trips aside, it is quite possible that the kids will conclude that they don’t ever want to camp or trek again in their lives. This is one opportunity that they can’t “quit” because it means walking forward or backwards (unless there is some Heli-evac due to an emergency, God forbid). They are entitled to their opinions, but it will be absolutely heartbreaking if that is where they land. Perhaps, this is my learning challenge—to accept their worlds as they perceive it and not as I do.

Our Day 7 pictures was in the high valley (altitude of ~10,800 ft) next to a long Tibetan chortan.

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*Zayan skipped journaling on Day 7 and combined his experiences with Day 8.

Excerpt from Kenza’s Journal (9 years):

Today was a half day. I cried in the morning (by myself in the tent) because I just wanted the trek to be over.

It was a mostly flat path and it was extremely beautiful. It was really nice to see the vast fields of corn patties, and it was tempting to just jump in!

I apologize for the shortness of the Day 6 journal entry, but it was all pretty true (I wasn’t feeling well and there wasn’t much else to say).

Everyone in the family thinks that we are roughing it by staying in tents, but I think the tents are pretty comfy.

Daddy keeps telling me a (made-up) story every night and we only have two more “chapters” to go.

Tomorrow will be a rest day and I’ll be ready!

Photo of the village fields. Most of the flat spaces are used for agriculture.

Excerpt from Kaysan’s Journal (7 years):

Today it was another easy day because it was just a lot of flat. The views were amazing!!!!!!!!!! There was verey good wether today.

In one village we saw a health clinic. It was for the body only but not for teeth. In the other village we saw a barking dog. He was kind of cute even thoe he was barking.

When we arrived to the camp place it was hot!!!!! Then the wether totally changed, and it became cold.